Last year when I heard about my friend’s terminal cancer diagnosis, I prayed tearfully for his life to be saved. I prayed for him every day. In February, I heard that he had died.

There are people all around the world having experiences like this, and naturally it raises the question ‘What is the point in praying?’. Does it make any difference? Why are these prayers unanswered?

It’s not just about having enough faith

Some Christians will blame the person who was praying, saying they didn’t have enough faith. Jesus did say “Have faith in God. Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mark 11:22–24.

But there are a lot of people, like myself, who did pray with faith. I do believe that God is able to heal. When people blame the person who prayed, they don’t usually deny the presence of any faith. They just deny that there was enough. But Jesus contradicts this. He says “If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you.” Luke 17:6.

Bring a request, not a demand

Clearly faith is an important part of prayer. It might explain some examples of unanswered prayer. But Jesus tells us even a tiny bit of faith is enough, because the power of prayer doesn’t come from us. The power of prayer comes from God. Jesus’ promise of answered prayer is not just that if you are convinced it will happen, it will happen. Faith in God is more than believing He is all-mighty, it is also believing he is good. That’s why Jesus also teaches us to pray for God’s will to be done, not our own will. Matthew 6:10, Matthew 26:39

If we trust God is good, whatever prayer we bring to him will be a request. It won’t be a demand. This is the difference between a prayer and a wish. When you wish, the genie or fairy has to do whatever you ask, even if it’s not actually a good idea. However, when a Christian prays, we are asking our heavenly Father to do good. Because we have faith in him, we are willing to receive something different than what we ask for. Faith in God means believing his plans are better than ours.

But how can I say that about my friend’s death? Or about someone who prays to be saved from an abuser? How can my friend’s death be better than his life? Or how can a victim’s continued suffering be better than their rescue?

Yes, no, and not yet

Jesus prayed the night before he was crucified to be spared from the ordeal. Yet in his prayer, he said ‘Not my will, but yours be done.’ Matthew 26:39. Jesus did not want to be tortured to death, but he knew that God could use it for good. God used it to save the world from sin and death. He used Joseph’s slavery in Egypt to save many lives from starvation. God can use all things for the good of those who love him. He can even use for good the evil actions that lead to the slavery of Joseph and the crucifixion of Jesus.

There are prayers that God will say no to, because they are not good. But some of our prayers, God will say yes to in time. In Acts 12, James, one of the Apostles, is killed by Herod. Herod then captures Peter and imprisons him. The church prays for Peter, who is rescued by an angel. Acts 12 tells us both about the miraculous rescue of Peter, as an answer to prayer, but also about the death of James. Why does Peter live and James die? Was there just nobody praying for James? His brother John just wasn’t worried about it? 

God is for our good

There’s a scene in Revelation 8, where the prayers of the saints are offered to God. God’s answer to these prayers is the return of Jesus to judge the world. Jesus will casting Satan, sin and death, and all those who oppose God into the lake of fire. This act of judgement is the rescue of the world from the forces of evil that oppress it. You can’t have an eternal paradise when evil exists in it. If God answered all our good, noble prayers for him to deliver our friends from death, victims from abusers, to end all the suffering and evil in the world, that would be judgement day.

I want my prayers for healing to be answered. But I also want my children and friends and family to believe in Jesus. If God answered all our prayers for freedom from evil and pain in this moment, everyone who is still opposing God has lost their opportunity to turn and live. I am glad that God is patient and able to bear evil for a little longer. Because that way, more people can believe and benefit from the day all our prayers are answered.

Waiting and trusting God

On judgement day, my prayers for my friend will be answered and he will be free from cancer and death. On that day, no more abusers will hurt their victims again.

While I wait for that day, I long for glimpses of God’s power to save. I long for people to be delivered from harm and sickness and their own destructive patterns of sin. But I also trust that God knows what is best. I trust that he can use all things for good, that he will do what is right. And I trust that all my noble and faithful prayers will be answered at the right time.